she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
