Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
