Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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