I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
