Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's the barista slut.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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