Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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