fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
