She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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