I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
