I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
