ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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