I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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