ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
