Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So much rum. So many feels.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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