Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im holly from the hills drunk
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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