At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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