How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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