i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
