we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
