I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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