Jerry, you need to find god
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
