He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm like, not good at living.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
