so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
