he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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