You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
