did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
