somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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