oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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