This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
