Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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