do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
