Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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