I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
