I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
