I'm going to jail i love you
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
