I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
