Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
