Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She said her name was "party"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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