can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
