I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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