Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
