Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You are the jesus of drinking
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
