Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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