WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
