So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
