i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
