Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
