I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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