Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
