Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
