i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
