He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
