Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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